April 2015 PAD – Day 19: The Lord Byron

On April 19th 1824 the poet Lord Byron died in Greece.

The Lord Byron

Susie plonks my pint on the bar
“That one’s on his Lordship”
She quips, with a wink and a nod
to the portrait over the fireplace

She’s always quick with a wink
and a smile our Susie: as cheeky,
buxom bar wenches go, she’s the best
Mind you don’t get too fresh though!

I like to sit at the end of the bar
back against the wall – ears akimbo
watching it all going on (and on!)
greeting all the locals as they arrive

Big William comes in and orders
Two pints – the first lasts three seconds
he sits at the far end of the bar
and salutes “Hello” with his second mug

Sally and Geoff come in together
just like the last thirty-five years
Two pints of stout and a pickled egg
they sit at “their table” and whisper

Bit by bit the pub fills up as per
Dodgy Max, Half-pint Pete, Grappler,
The Major, In-the-Loo Dave, et al
Oh and the up-from-townies dining

Hillside Jack comes in with his dog, Spike
“Pint o’ Mild and bitter, Susie love”
“Mild’s off, Jack, bottle o’ brown instead?”
The mild’s been off since 1987, at least

One of the up-from-townies moans
can’t have dogs where food is served
Ah, but only Jack’s dog is allowed in
on account of how he’s blind, dear

The dog, that is, not Hillside Jack
Been blind these three years past
and frets something wicked
if ‘es left on his lonesome, dear

Big William moans he could die of thirst
It’s Dave’s round and where is the blighter?
Why, in the bloody loo again of course
crafty, stingy, good for nothing so and so

The night winds on and winds down
A few beg young Susie for one last round
But she’s made of stern stuff that lass
and she takes no nonsense, oh no, not her

Glasses are collected, lights dimmed
backs are shoved and goodnights said
she’s all but bolted the door when she turns
“Oy, Charlie-in-the corner! You and all”.

So off I go, wending my weary way home
chuckling, reflecting on a night at the local
recalling the words of the poet himself:
“Pleasure’s a sin and sometimes sin’s a pleasure”


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